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Few things can be as disturbing as silence, God’s silence most of all.
I heard a stand up comedian give an account of his experiences on the road in his line of work and he explained to the audience what he was afraid of in his job, it wasn’t getting booed or groaning when he told a joke, it was dead silence after telling one.
Likewise we as Christians face a similar situation in our walk with God. When we come God with a worry a situation or a prayer we have it in mind the idea that we will see a answer either favorable or perhaps a denial that will allow us to have closure and move on.
…..But what about those times when all we hear is silence, what are we to do when all we hear in the Halls of our strong fortress in our day of trouble is our own echoed prayers?
God’s voice is an amazing force, he can raise the dead, create a world teaming with life and direct the future but it’s silence is just as powerful, seldom will you ever feel so powerless or alone as when God’s answer is silence.
These times are distressing and if your feeling disturbed by it your not alone, the men and woman of the Bible certainly faced this and seeking God in the midst of trials and silence is a common theme in the Psalms and looking here we see an example of how we should pursue God in this time.
1. Pursue Him
Sometimes I our Wilderness journey God will test us by having us pursue him and use silence to test us or to remind us that it is the giving and not the gift we must be pursuing.
We must be like Jacob when he and God wrestled, even if it seems God intends to cripple us and then leave us behind we must lay hold of God and refuse to release him until we have gotten our Father’s blessing.
This is not to say either God is so calloused as to leave us for dead as we follow him or that we can strongarm God into doing our will but it does mean God will take us to our absolute limits for us to not only show what is really in our hearts but also to Show us what is really in our hearts.
Sometimes to help us see what we have buried under our faith God will strain it so we can see through it and uncover darkness we can chip away and give more room to our faiths and without this time of silence before God answers he will let us make room for the blessing.
Isaiah 55:6: Seek the LORD while he may be found; call upon him while he is near…
2. Are you willing to wait?
In silence God may be trying to help us build patience, patience is one of the fruits of the spirit and the pain that comes from silence may just be God’s time to prune you so you may receive more then you ask.
Patience is a must and eventually all true Christians will enter into a time of building for it so they can truly follow God. We serve a being unbound by time and that means we may be asked to wait for what seems like a stupidly long amount of time to our human perception of time and space or be throat into the maelstrom with no time to prepare at all and the patient endurance of these times of silence and seeking God may go far in helping you be better prepared for these times.
Psalm 144:1: Blessed be the LORD, my rock, who trains my hands for war, and my fingers for battle…
3. God might simply be trying to reconnect with you…
Sometimes it just might be that you have run ahead of God or wandered away from him and when this happens, like any good parent, God stops what he is doing and starts calling out for you or looking to find a way to get your attention so you come back to where he is at.
God will meet you anywhere your at but this reunion requires us to first realize we are lost, some of you I am sure have been in a situation when you or someone or something you care for got lost without you realizing it right away.
Its scary and frustrating and when it happens our first instinct is usually retracing our steps and this silence is what God can use to help lead us back to him.
Zechariah 1:3 Therefore say to them, Thus declares the Lord of hosts: Return to me, says the Lord of hosts, and I will return to you, says the Lord of hosts.
In closing Pact Keeper, God is not ignoring but training you, he is seeking you actively and sometimes to test a student a teacher has to be silent to see how much they have learned and what has stuck with them from their lessons so be strong, have faith and trust that our Father’s silence does mean he isn’t there.
God bless.
Every Christian struggles with impure thoughts.
It is hard enough to follow God’s leadings for a more christian life in a sinful world but when that sinful world keeps catcalling and harassing you in your very own mind it can feel like your walking up a steep mountain side lined with jagged stones, each slip hurts more then a normal one would and each scrape you get wears down your stamina mentally, spiritually and physically.
The worst part of it though, the most draining and overpowering aspect, is it is a threat that comes from inside your own mind, it can feel either like your walls and have been breached and the enemy has compromised your security or it can feel like some deep rooted evil within you is speaking out, showing your true colors, your true desires and your real alignment in this war.
For years, as long as I have walked with God I have struggled with impure thoughts that make me feel insecure in my faith and make me feel like I do not truly believe in God’s word or accept his leading, that I am not taking to this whole “Faith” thing with God and that deep down I am just a worldly sinner that is, eventually, going to pull out of this upward called race.
The thoughts can range from violent, sexual or even just slanderous against God and seem to pop out of no where, it was driving me crazy that they were so persistent and that they came from me and I would often become frustrated or panic and spent years trying to ask God to simply remove them from me and monitor my mind.
This led to massive mental and spiritual fatigue and this would translate into the physical as we talked about above and after these constant internal struggles and the lack of relief it would lead to backsliding and spiritual burnout.
Struggles with impure thoughts taxed me, my prayers seemed to return to me void, I felt further from God because of these intrusive thoughts and I felt like I had peaked as a Christian and that my journey may only be going so far, that deep down I was not truly chosen and Jesus would say those dreaded words to me at the end of all things.
‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’
Matthew 7:23
But no matter how far I felt from God he was faithful and never far from me, I began to wonder if this was some sort of mental issue eventually, that I was perhaps broken in a psychological way and not a spiritual one.
It turns out it was both.
The bible speaks on thoughts that do not come from men but dark leadings that can confuse us and lead us to do things in that confusion and strife not of God, the most powerful example is when Jesus was tempted in the Wilderness. He was alone, vulnerable, hungry and without a doubt thirsty there with no visible aid from God at the time and then the tempter came, trying to fill his head with lies and empty promises and urgings to do things he knew were wrong.
So lets fast forward to today, we live in a very different world in many different ways but this type of mental warfare on the church is still raging. I had learned these things about mental assaults from the enemy but I was still unsure how to repel them and after a few years of studying the mind I only had more information but no real solutions, at least not ones I understood at the time.
The key to these impure or intrusive thoughts is that we should not do more then rebuke them and move on, dwelling on them or giving them energy in any way shape or form is how they hurt us and once they hurt us, much like a snake bite, it lets poison get in that wears us down and can even kill us in extreme cases of struggles with impure thoughts.
So here in modern times what to we look to to give us an example of how we should proceed in these situations? Odds are if your reading this post, spend a part of your day or week on forums or gaming or use your phone to regularly check your social media you know just how ugly people can be on these things, people berating one another, posting awful things for the sole purpose of offending others and even attack you for your opinion or actions no matter how mundane and wholesome they are.
The answer came to me while gaming a few weeks back, I was playing a first person shooter when I was killed in game and instantly the other player that had got me starting harassing and insulting me in the chat for this accomplishment, we had not spoken before, I do not recalling having killed him in the game as of yet he was just eager to tear me or anyone down….
….Sound familiar?
Now they had said some pretty hurtful things and my first reaction was to get mad but my next thought a second alter was….
“Why bother?”
I don’t know this person, they want me to get offended and mad and as I thought about this the comment was already lost in a sea of other chaotic chat interactions of people calling for medics and alerts that someone had gotten an achievement, it was already gone and that person had achieved nothing but looking like an idiot and a creep and was basically ignored not only by me but everyone else.
This was when God revealed to me that this is a strong tool against these impure and intrusive thoughts that can pop into our heads, if we do not respond to them they will soon be lost in a wave of other thoughts and will have accomplished nothing and gained no foothold because it never got any energy out of me.
I took up this mentality for about a week and I noticed my anxiety and depression on the matter drop noticeably to the point I feel like I have more control then I ever thought possible in this matter.
I know it may sound simplistic, it basically boils down to “Don’t worry about it” but when you know the situation and process it takes much of the anxiety off.
Jesus surely felt assaulted by the dark leadings he faced but he remembered scriptures, rebuked the thought and gave it no more energy, he did not dwell on it most likely, he did not lose heart at the thought that the devil was even able to talk to him or tempt him, he just remembered the truth, did not bother to be shaken by the attack and let it slip away.
Pact-Keepers if Christ was a target for temptation how much more are we? Your not a fake christian and your no weaker that anyone else, this false image we build up of one day becoming some unshakable person with no flaws and an easy road is a modern idol of the church and before we can tear it town as a whole we each need to tear it down inside ourselves.
Paul had a thorn in his flesh, lustful thoughts overtook David and Moses let his frustrations shape his actions and was denied access into the Promised Land, these great men we should learn from had setbacks with their struggles with impure thoughts, stumbled over intrusive and impure thoughts and even in all their faith and great deeds never reached a point where they were above experiencing them so do not feel like a failure of traitor for experiencing these thoughts, they are whispers from the enemy and simply hearing them does not equal sin on your part but engaging in them like a killer, dwelling on them in a longing manner like an adulterer or giving them energy and ground like a worrier will come back as sin.
Tackling it like that is what does not work for us.
Remember God, do not give the thought your energy and it will fade away and if you do not panic or linger on it and let it be lost to the sea of the mind it will become weaker each time until your can shoo it away like a fly without a second thought or pull it out and discard it like a sliver and in doing so we rest in God’s grace by not giving into worry or panic and deepen our roots of faith and our walls against these struggles with impure thoughts that so commonly assail us all.
Its in the dead of night, where is God’s love for you you might be wondering…
You have prayed from sun up and just a few minutes ago you gave another desperate plea to God.
Did God hear you? Should you have worded it better? Should you have been more specific? Are you even right with God right now?
Can you even ask him for anything? Should you……?
When God feels distant, when you can’t seem to take roots anywhere you go, when trouble follows you like your own shadow and your prayers seem to return hollow…
This is a place or dry sand and sharp rocks, where scorpions and snakes all forms of demonic harassment dwell. Where loneliness and uncertainty build their webs.
We know this place best from the forty year trek the Israelites endured after fleeing Egypt. It seemed to most of them that God had done little more then save them from the frying pan to kill them in the fire.
And it was indeed God’s plan to put them in the fire because it was not until unbelief and fear were burnt away that life could once again take root among the nation of God’s people.
The same is true of his people today. The wilderness was a harsh place meant to bring faith out of the believer despite appearances. In this place you are at the fire will begin to bring your spirit’s juices to the surface, like a piece of meat, it shows what is inside.
God’s love for you is such that it must go through this process because we need to see what is really hiding inside us. To see what is living in our hearts and the wilderness does this.
Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. ~ 1 Peter 4:12
From the early Fathers of the faith to the Disciples and even Christ himself God has sent his people in the wilderness for various lengths to draw closer to him. He desires for us to learn that he alone is our provider and our one true solid ground. God’s love for you is not to be found in this world or the wilderness.
It is found with his kingdom, found inside of you.
So seek him even if he seems far. Though you do not know the way walk in faith and before you know it, you will be before God’s throne.
So I wanted to make a more personal connect with you Pact Keepers so I decided to start posting some videos where I draw a bit and make some talking points on Christian manga and comics.
A big part of Christian manga for me goes back to when I felt I was the only person on Earth that wanted to see a Christian take on the popular Japanese comic style and what I found in it was…underwhelming for the most part.
The only known series were either preachy to the point of being unrelatable or robbed on real godly messages and elements by ashamed writers who had taken up a secular mindset.
That being said I have found many enjoyable series in the Christian manga genre over the years including the works of Inkhana and Calbhach’s Gameplan
Gerry Lee and Larry Blake’s New Sons of Thunder
…And Rejoice! Studio’s Days of Noah series to name a few but I have met several other talented writers and artists whom God has inspired.
These people have encouraged and inspired me over the years and have proven that God is indeed interested in the medium of comics and manga and is inspiring workers to go out and start planting seeds in this field for his glory and for the good of his servants.
I have been doing this for several years now and I want to work in Christian manga, comics and webcomics for the rest of my life, I feel called to feed God’s flock of black sheep who are not quite traditional Christians but also not secular sellouts.
I want to and get great pleasure from feeding God’s creative, world weary and imaginative flocks who need a safe place to enjoy their fantastic stories and appreciate God’s own creativity both in them, others and the world.
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